Last Drop Blog

I considered drinking. For the first time in a while I truly considered it. Just starting out with a few drinks… The boredom kinda got to me… this is probably my 6th straight weekend with basically no plans, it is Halloween weekend, I wanted to go somewhere and be social. The thought of showing up to a party or a bar sober was too much. I sat on the idea for a while and ultimately here I am writing this blog so I chose not to drink.

Why did I choose not to drink? I truly didn’t have many plans to begin with. Since I stopped drinking I realized one of the main things I had in common with my social circle was drinking. We would go to bars, parties, or drink for a game on TV every week. Taking a weekend off was super rare for me. I could always reach out to someone and convince them to drink and I would somewhat consistently get hit up to drink as well. So you could say removing drinking from my routine has somewhat separated me from my old friends. This is fine and a common aspect of making a life change. I just have different interests at this point in my life and I am working to discover what I enjoy while sober. So long story short, if I chose to drink I would have needed to go out of my way to reach out to these old friends to drink and that step alone kinda made me think. Sure, I could’ve just went to my fridge and grabbed a beer and started to drink but at the end of the day that wasn’t what I was missing. It was socializing. So here is the realization… I need to meet more people with similar interests. I don’t drink anymore… so would hanging out with people who drink all weekend make sense? No. It is really as simple as that. At times I just wish my old friends would all just stop drinking as well and join me on this journey but that is completely illogical and would never happen. You can’t try and force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do in this world. There is truly no point in trying. Everyone gets one life and it is on them to make decisions for themselves and on you to respect that. So when I see my old friends out at about on the weekends are here them share stories do I get a little mad? Yes. BUT do I wish I was there with them and drinking? No. I don’t miss drinking, I don’t miss hangovers, I don’t miss spending money at bars, I don’t miss embarrassing texts/photos/videos, I don’t miss blackouts, I don’t miss throwing up, I don’t miss getting irrationally angry at anything and anyone, I don’t miss ruining clothes, I don’t miss hangxiety, you get the idea.

So today I am thankful that I chose not to drink. I am thankful that I went to the gym and had a good workout. I am thankful that I will wake up tomorrow and not be hungover.

Will I have another day where I want to drink again? Highly likely. But I will think back to the day like today and think it through.

Getting sober has truly led to a lot of introspection. Asking myself A LOT of questions. why I feel the way I do? Why I did the things I did? Who do I want to become? What will I do today? Why should I do this?

If I wasn’t sober I would never be able to face these questions with a clear mind and make a decision I can be happy with.

As always, be kind to yourself. Life only happens one day at a time so no need to stress tomorrow while still battling today. Embrace the good days and recognize the bad ones. No matter where you may be at this stage in your life think about how far you’ve come. You have endured a lot and do not deserve to treat yourself poorly. Mistakes happen, life happens, change happens.