Last Drop Blog

I am giving therapy another go. I got into therapy around my 3-4 month mark in my sobriety journey. We mainly focused on getting through those difficult times and working through things I could control. It was fairly high level conversations just discussing things like general good health habits I could seek and practice. It was great for what I needed at the time. It motivated me to continue on my sobriety journey and pointed out some of my detrimental habits. I improved on my communication skills and now feel far more comfortable opening up to friends/family and in my writing. I took a break after about my 10th session. I truthfully cancelled a session and never reached back out. Part of me felt like I outgrew the types of conversations I was having and part of me felt like that therapist was good for me then but not now. I am seeking a new therapist. I truly feel much better than I did in the past few months. At times I felt like I was maybe good on therapy for a while. I do have a goal of getting off anti-depressants however and I think a good step towards that is seeking medical help. Instead of going into this therapy with the main focus being on alcoholism, I want to focus on my addictive personality and attachment issues. Without my first therapist assisting me in realizing I carry over my attachment and addictive personality into other aspects of my life, I likely would not be booking a new appointment to see a new therapist.

I used to think that you were in some deep shit to see a therapist or you had a very traumatic event happen. I now view therapy much differently. I think it is a very positive outlet and coping mechanism for any issues life can throw at you. I think everyone would benefit from therapy, no matter where you are in your life. It can help remind yourself of the obvious things you should be doing like getting rest, eating well, and exercising to the deeper things like expressing your emotions and letting your past go.

I personally sensed that although I feel in control of my life right now, I am feeling pretty lonely and get tense/angry because I dont have much of an outlet to turn to. I will not turn to drinking or drugs to ease my mind. I feel like I am doing a lot of the right things and I am once again struggling with patience and being content with where I am at. Getting the chance to open up to someone who has a totally un-biased perspective on my life will certainly assist me in easing the tension. I hope that this second attempt at therapy brings me more clarity on how I react to difficult life events like heartbreak and difficult emotions like anxiousness and depression.

Ideally I want to be in total control of my own happiness and not be reliant on any person or thing. I want to be able to go into a future relationship with more balance in my life, less attachment, and better boundaries. I currently am not the best at letting things outside of my control be as they are. I can get into a relationship of any kind and feel the urge to push someone along to be the person I wish they would be for me. I recognize that it is not too healthy and the best thing to do is to control yourself and let other people be who they are. There is no need to try and force something along solely for the reason that you feel like things should go differently. You cannot force other people to do things they dont want to do, feel the way you want them to feel, or act they way you wish they would act. Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away. What is meant to be for you will eventually come into your life and what is not will never be. Make good decisions for yourself today and trust the path you’re on.