Last Drop Blog

Odd’s are you are doing better than you think you are. The work you are putting in is sufficient and you are making progress. This doesn’t mean you should stop trying to progress or get complacent, it just means you should reflect and find some things you are proud of.

As this year wraps up, I went back and read my past new year’s resolutions. Generally speaking, I achieved everything I wanted to this year. I got comfortable living in a new city, I met new friends, I found a sober community, I pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone, and I learned a lot about myself.

The holidays and end of a year can be a difficult time for anyone. It can be an extremely difficult time for people working on sobriety. You may travel back home and see friends and family that may bring back old memories. You get reminded of the things you no longer do and it can make you feel like a bit of an outsider. You may be reminded of how long you have been sober and while that should be a good thing it can also make you feel like you got your life together and a few drinks wont hurt. Admittedly, I have had these thoughts recently. The longer you stray away from the old you the easier it is to forget the bad times drinking and focus in on the good.

So as you go into the holidays and the new year and you are working on sobriety or your relationship with alcohol remember just because you feel like you should do something doesn’t mean you need to act on it. Your feelings dont define you and they should not correlate to your actions. If you feel like you got your life back on track and a few drinks wont hurt don’t just act on those feelings… think about what you did to get here and why you may feel this way.

I am grateful to be in a situation where I face another year that I can continue to work on myself. I am grateful I took this past year seriously and stayed disciplined. I am grateful that I am more comfortable with my sobriety and although I still struggle it is not a daily battle.

My main goal for this past year was to meet new people and make new friends. I did those things and learned a lot about what I really want going forward. I learned you can’t force friends. I learned that sometimes you should be by yourself. I learned that relationships come and go and some are not meant to be lifelong. I learned that every person you meet along the way can teach you a lesson or provide you with memories to look back on. A lot can change in a year.

In my journey to make new friends and meet new people I found out that sometimes I tried to make friends just to achieve this goal. I didn’t do too much reflection on the type of friends these people were or could become. I may have made efforts to connect with these people and meet up simply to stay busy and have plans. In short, I learned that you cannot force friends. You cannot force good lifelong relationships. These things come to you and when good people come along I will be better equipped to see these people as valuable.

I learned that there is a major difference to being lonely and being uncomfortable being alone. So a goal for next year is to do a better job of recognizing if I am lonely or uncomfortable being alone in certain situations. I want to ensure that when I am saying yes to other people that I am not saying no to myself. If I decide to stay in one night because I feel the need to recharge, I want to feel good about that decision because I said yes to myself first. I don’t want to waste my energy on trying to force friendships or relationships for the sake of simply having them. I want to wake up everyday knowing I am a confident person who is worthy of good friendships and relationships and not stress these things, rather know they are coming when the time is right. I am excited that as I go into next year I am yet again in a situation where I can learn more about myself and make life experiences with the freedom I have.