Last Drop Blog

“When you practice self-identifying every time you find yourself frustrated or inexplicably annoyed with someone or their behavior, you tap into an ultimate tool for growth and the fastest route to creating a more peaceful existence for yourself.”

The holidays, end of a year, and start of a new one lead to many emotions. One emotion I struggle with from time to time is anger. A therapist described anger to me as an iceberg emotion. At the top of the iceberg above the oceans surface is anger, below it is all the emotions that led you to being angry in the first place. I find myself getting angry with other people, situations, events, work, myself every now and then and sometimes often. Ultimately, I was never angered by other peoples behaviors…. it was always behaviors that existed within myself that I see in others.

I tend to just shut off when I get angry at others or a situation outside of my control. I get quiet, I don’t engage in much conversation, I isolate, and it can eat at me for a long time. I do not do the best job of trying to find what is below the surface of this emotion anger. I have improved with my reaction to anger because in the past I would turn to distractions like drinking and now I am left to face it sober. However, there is always room to improve when it comes to emotional intelligence. It is ok to remove yourself from a situation or conversation that angers you but only if you seek to ask yourself why this made you angry. Simply removing yourself from a situation to seek distractions can stunt any opportunities for growth. I do not have many resolutions yet to my anger. I do not have many answers to why I get angry at times and why I feel like taking my anger out in negative ways. I am currently just working on asking myself why I get angry and holding myself back from negative reactions.

I feel as if we all can think to a conversation with a family member, friend, co-worker, significant other where we may have said something out of anger that we didn’t truly mean or at least wanted to say something. One thing I have learned is the importance of protecting your space and sanity. Asking myself if this friendship, relationship, or situation is worth investing my energy/emotions into or worth walking away from. In some instances the hardest thing to do is walk away from a situation or person that is detrimental to yourself and your growth. You may ask yourself if you are being selfish and constantly second guess things. You cannot sit in these thoughts long. Life is short and in the end it is your life to live. Often when you think your being selfish you are not. You are likely just putting yourself first in a hard situation because your intuition is right.

Don’t wallow in self pity when you make these decisions learn more about yourself, let go of your ego, understand this is where you can experience great growth. Think about your future and how you can use these experiences to make positive changes.

I have worked incredibly hard the past year and more to love myself and understand myself. I know I will still make plenty of mistakes. I know I will experience self doubt. I know I will still get angry at others. But I know that this is my life and these are my decisions that I am making to mold my future and create the life I want/deserve.

The more introspection that takes place in my life the more I understand that everyone is seeking a better life. The more I stop and ask myself why did I get angry the more I will respect others.

“Emotionally healthy people can identify the people who are spiteful, jealous, or too wrapped in their own issues to not project them onto everybody else. Do these people need love and companionship, too? Certainly. But sometimes walking away is the best way to do that. Most of the time, it’s the healthiest choice.”

These quotes are still from the book ” 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think” I am enjoying this book a lot. I haven’t read all the way through, I have simply been picking it up and reading sections at random to assist with introspection.

When I get angry with others I am working to understand that others have and will get angry at me and that is ok. We are all working through issues and seeking growth. Be good to yourself without letting yourself off the hook constantly in thinking outside noise is the issue to your problems.