Last Drop Blog

Took some notes while I was on around day 4 off my Zoloft (an SSRI for anxiety/depression).

Lots of irritability, brain fog, anger. These weird jolts or “brain zaps”  it’s like those moments when you feel yourself about to fall into a deep sleep but you jolt up. That has been happening often. 

It is pretty wild how simple and easy the process was to get on these meds and it was then fully on me to be aware of my medication and decide when enough was enough. I have read stories of people being on SSRI’s for years, even a majority of their life. I know SSRI’s were good for a short period of time in my life. They helped me get out of dark places and allowed me to maintain a career. I was considering just stopping work outright at one point before I got on medication because I felt so overwhelmed by my emotions and life. 

But damn, once you get out of that place it is on no one but you to decide if the medication is still needed. Withdrawals are no joke and people need to know that. I have been more prepared for this go around. I am giving it a true honest shot. Everything and I mean just about everything can piss you off if you let it when withdrawing from zoloft. I have found myself on edge, irritable, jittery, confused, and just generally spacy. I think it may be easy to assume this is just how you felt before you were medicated but trust me it is not. You do withdraw from SSRI’s and withdrawal symptoms can take some time. I know that these doctors know that these medications have these withdrawal symptoms but I was never once made fully aware. It is on you to do your research. It is on you to know that you may not be feeling “your normal anxiety” back after two days off your SSRIs.

Now that is has been over two weeks off of my medication fully. I can confidently say that the withdrawal symptoms are not foreshadowing what is yet to come for my time off the medication. It took around 5-10 days for these symptoms to slow down or become far less noticeable. Other symptoms or reactions to note: crazy vivid dreams, fluctuating appetite, drowsiness (needed naps often), sweats.

I think it is so crazy that you can schedule an appointment with your doctor, briefly discuss feeling anxious and overwhelmed and walk out with a prescription for these meds with no talks about how they will truly make you feel. Maybe my doctor experience was different but I highly highly doubt it. I think about the amount of kids who may be prescribed these medications, the amount of people who may be on these meds for years and years, the amount of people on not one prescription but a handful, and it makes me confused and angry.

I am glad I was prepared for the withdrawals this time around. I took my heightened emotions, anger, shortness with others, tiredness, and general physical feelings as withdrawals and understood they would pass in a few days. I hope someone who may be trying to get off these types of meds (ssri’s) and they are serious about it can understand that some of the feelings while tapering off and fully stopping them are the meds leaving your body. It is not your anxiety fully coming back like a massive wave. Some of the emotions and feelings are unavoidable and that is ok, you will get through it and it will pass. I am no doctor or pharmacist but through a few google searches I found this “The symptoms of SSRI Discontinuation Syndrome usually last for one to three weeks. The severity of the withdrawal symptoms will vary depending on how long a person had been taking Zoloft. In many cases, people will experience rebound depression or anxiety when they stop taking the medication.”

If you are on these meds and feel like you are in a good place in your life because of them, that is great. I attribute some of my success in getting out of a dark place in my life to the medication. But not all of it. You shouldn’t either. You have likely put in some serious work on yourself, your body and mind to work alongside the meds. If you have gotten to a point where you truly feel like you want to live a life off of the prescription medication I would definitely tell your therapist, doctor, close friends and family. I would tell you to trust the work that you put in to get you to this place. Know that you likely now know many healthy coping habits that can get you out of a bad headspace. Know that the meds are still there if you ever get to a point where you feel like you need the additional assistance. I have felt more alive the last few weeks and it has been a good feeling. Sure, some emotions get overwhelming because they were until recently being suppressed by meds but I will take the trade off. Hope this helps anyone with questions or concerns about these meds.