Last Drop Blog

I have no idea what I am doing. I am a 26 year old sober person. At this moment I have no career. I know I am meant to be doing something good with my life. I do not know what I am passionate about. I do not have a dream job. I have minimal work experience. I havent stayed at a job longer than two years. I have found heavy dislike for a lot of what corporate America has to offer. I have made shit money. I have made great money. I have worked service jobs. I have worked mid-high level tech jobs. I feel as if not enough people are open about not knowing what they are doing. I feel like decisions get made in peoples lives and all of the sudden you look back on the time that has passed and wondered exactly how you got there. I am at times envious of people who say they enjoy their career. I also have a hard time believing them when they say it, maybe thats me projecting. I do not even know if a career I am passionate about is what I am looking for. I stress over money and then I dont. I express interest in a financially free lifestyle and then I dont. I recently have been re-evaluating my relationship with my finances. This is probably because I have zero income but you gotta role with the punches. I found myself in good situations because I left worse situations on the hunt for something better. This mainly correlates to my income. Some of the best professional relationships came from the places that I found myself in after quitting the places I hated. I appreciate any income and recognize I am privileged to even be in a situation to get a job and get paid. I dont appreciate feeling like I am earning something I dont deserve. If I dont like doing something I find myself having a hard time faking like I do. I got that way with drinking. I stopped enjoying it and it likely showed. I got that way with my first job out of college and a few others. I quit doing things I dont like doing. I guess thats a positive. I am becoming more and more skilled at eliminating things I do not get enjoyment out of. I feel as if nearly everything that has led up to this point in my life has been me falling into situations and me pulling myself out of them. The only thing I have had control over really is the second part. Sure I could say no to some jobs and make decisions to pull my life in different directions but at this point in time the best course of action is falling into shit and pulling myself out of it if I want to. Trying new shit. Thats what I got to do. Staying committed to trying new shit too. I mad an effort to blog when I was getting sober and I stayed committed. I truthfully dont enjoy blogging as much as I used to or maybe I just no longer enjoy talking about sobriety. I am in the process of interviewing people for a “sobriety” podcast but after a few interviews I do not even know if I enjoy conversing over that. I guess I just wanted to blog to say I have no idea what I am doing or what I want to do and if you dont either we have similarities. You just gotta stay committed to trying new shit. My full time job is trying new shit even if that means getting a new “full time job”.