Last Drop Blog

Just pulled up my sober tracker for the first time in a long long time. I think I did so because I am starting to notice more and more the amount of change that this decision has brought into my life. Good things take time. Most of the time you likely wont know what kinds of change a hard decision will bring into your life. That in itself can be scary, it can be enough for someone to not even make the first step. The uncertainty of it all. We are creatures of habit and change can bring lots of friction into our lives.

Learning to embrace and welcome change is everything in this life. Welcome the uncertainty. Make the decision that you deep down know is best for you and lean into what may come from it, even though you’ll never know what that may be till you get there. Taking things one day at a time as many sober people know, is such an essential way to live. Do what you can to find fulfillment today and trust that even though something feels hard and uncomfortable, you’re on a path for something new. Something different that you never could have once imagined for yourself.

The biggest reassuring thought thus far, is when I think about what my life would be like if I kept up with drinking. The writing was on the walls. My progression in life, if any, would slow down. My fears and insecurities would still be buried somewhere hard to find. My self worth would take hit after hit as I decided to drink each weekend even though I knew it was breaking me down. There was far more certainty in that life of mine. I was almost certain I would not be happy often, I would struggle to seek discomfort, I would make excuses for my actions, I would feel like everything I dreamed of is out of reach. That got scarier to me than leaning into uncertainty of making a drastic change to become the person I knew I want to become.

Life is all about choices and the best we can do it try to make the right ones. Sometimes we don’t and THEN the best we can do is try to learn from it. With all these trials and decisions, I have found it important for myself to lean into faith. Having faith that you will be rewarded in more ways than one if you stick with it. If you believe what your doing will better your life, stick with it, no matter how long it seems to be taking to get the results. In the early days of sobriety, I would hope and pray I could get some days like I have likely been having most of this year. I wished for days where my anxiety wasn’t so overbearing that I could comfortably leave my apartment for errands. I wished for more confidence in social settings. I wished for more of a sober social life. I wished to feel healthy. I am sure everyone knows those people that say “everything works out” and I feel like I am that person in a way because it is 100% true. Chalk it up to whatever you personally want to chalk it up to but you will be rewarded for prioritizing your well being and making brave decisions to lean into uncertainty, trust me someone or thing out there is seeing your dedication and desire to just get better.

Embrace the change.