Last Drop Blog

I have said in the past that writing and journaling is so impactful because you are becoming your own teacher.

Many of the things I have documented or wrote remain true to this day.

Occasionally I will go back through journals or this blog and be reminded of harsh truths, important habits to get back to, bad times, good times, problems left in the past and problems still at the forefront of my life.

I am going back through posts now. Below are excerpts very relevant to me now. My own self advice I want and plan to take or continue taking.

From Keeping Pace (5/20/24)

“You cant have everything be go, go, go or else you’ll never give yourself the time to explore passing thoughts, moments of inspiration, sit through a conversation that you think is taking up too much of your time, etc. You also cant just sit inside by yourself all day thinking your next great move will come to you. In that case you will start to to get wildly comfortable in your space. It can be incredibly detrimental and isolation is not something you want to mess with for too long.”

• Living alone the past 8 months has led to a lot of isolation. Working on staying out of my apartment for longer periods of time.

From I Dont Know What to Title This (1/20/24)

“Additionally, as doom and gloom as it may sound I have been reminding myself that everybody dies. Life is bigger than a job, the status of your finances, the car you drive, the house you live in, the amount of people you know, etc. What you have in front of you right now is important. What you aspire to have one day is nice too and will give you the strength to wake up each day with a growth mindset. Finding a balance between your aspirations and your current state is crucial.”

• I am unemployed again today and needed to be reminded this. Learning to give myself grace daily is important.

From Progress Feels Weird (6/19/23)

 “If it weren’t for feeling so shitty today and as of late, I wouldn’t have reconnected with my sober community. It has been months since I have been to an event with them and I decided to attend one tonight. It is almost like I re-discovered the importance of connecting with a sober community through these times. Loneliness cannot be solved by simply being around other people. You must feel connected.”

• I was feeling quite shitty recently and re-connected with my sober community and was once again reminded of the importance of feeling connected.

From Why I Think I am an Alcoholic (6/9/22)

“I have also discovered that because I am an alcoholic I have a pretty addictive/obsessive personality. Simply put, if things dont go the way I had envisioned in my mind I get pretty fucking pissy pretty easily. That is not healthy.”

• I am an alcoholic. The alcoholic mind loves to feel in control over anything and everything. I drank to escape that mind.