Last Drop Blog

Leaving a bachelor party. I havent blogged in quite some time. Admittedly, I am a little over talking about sobriety publicly or at least unprovoked. I am always happy to share my story when asked however, at times I feel odd blogging and posting about it frequently. I feel like I am at a point now in my life where I am active in my sobriety in a way that makes more sense. I go to AA meetings. I talk with my sponsor. I have friends who are in recovery. I talk about my sobriety with those people. It has helped and I do not plan to stop. Last year when attempting to start a sobriety podcast, I chatted with someone in recovery who said “being sober is the least interesting thing about me”. Today, years later, this resonates with me quite a bit. Now that I have been sober for almost 4 years, I am starting to understand that being sober is an aspect of my life but not my identity. During this podcast venture, I also received a message from someone in the Austin community who I had asked to help me out. They politely declined and explained why. They got tired of “being the sober guy”. This individual was a sobriety coach at one point I believe. For whatever reason, as I sit here today I feel like I am ready for sobriety to be one of the least interesting things about me and I got a little tired of trying to be the “sober guy”. 

The more connected I get with other sober people the more I realize I am not alone. I did the whole “I am gonna get sober and totally reinvent myself and be successful and get rich and people will be shocked and amazed” type of mindset. I still very much cared about what others thought of me, to be honest I still do, it is probably one of my biggest fears. I would like to think that I am getting much better at facing this fear. I am learning how selfish my mindset was and can be from time to time. I am learning a lot about myself still, I am more accepting of myself, I am more aware of what does and does not work for me in this life. The most important thing I am learning lately is that none of this works If I am consumed in self. Life has a funny way of pushing me in the right direction when I am prioritizing others. 

As I am heading back to Austin, I am feeling so incredibly grateful to have spent a weekend with some lifelong friends. I am grateful I get to experience life with those guys. 

I am feeling inspired to continue to try and become the best version of myself I can be. I am inspired to prioritize others as best I can. 

As I get older and hopefully a bit more wiser, I know how dark this life can get without human connection. I know that real true human connection for me happens and strengthens while I am working on my sobriety. I know that there are so many people out there working to better themselves. I know that it takes constant work to experience true connectedness with others. I know that the work is worth it. 

It is easy to get lost in this life. What is important is having the willingness to try and find your way again as many times as it takes. Hopefully you get lost and find your way enough to know the best way to do it is through other human beings.

This life shit is too hard and too short to try and figure it all out yourself. 

If you are struggling, you are not alone. I have struggled quite a bit and will surely struggle again. 

Surround yourself with the right people and let the rest play out.