Last Drop Blog

Weekends in general can be difficult while navigating sobriety. Long weekends and Holidays can be even more tricky. Whether it is the recent long 4th of July weekend, a wedding, New Year’s, or just a party/get together structured around drinking it is important to be aware of your surroundings and have some fall back plans.

I definitely was excited for this past weekend to wrap up. The 4th of July is definitely a big drinking weekend. Cookouts, fireworks, and beer pretty much all go hand in hand on the 4th. While I am still no expert on navigating these tough events/times, I have found a few things that work for me.

• Just avoid it completely. If you are really having a hard time getting yourself to get up and go to a party or event because the thought of the drinking around you is stressing you out, just dont go. You are not weak or embarrassing. If anything you are setting healthy boundaries.
• Take time for you and you only before the event/party. Go to the gym, take a walk, take a drive, meditate, do whatever it is that you enjoy alone. Ensure that you are in a decent headspace before going and check in on yourself.
• Eat something. When I get anxious I have a hard time with my appetite. Make sure you try your best to eat a meal or snack before going to an event/party. If you are already a little anxious, feeling hungry and weak from not eating will not help. Plus if you plan on having some caffeine to substitute for the drinking you will want some food in your system.
• Have drink options. Seltzer waters, sodas, tea, iced coffee, energy drinks. Whatever you enjoy have these on hand. It helps me feel comfortable when I am holding on to a drink of any kind while in a crowd of others drinking. A can is typically best.
• Avoid expectations and do not set a time requirement for yourself. Try your best to not go into the party or event with any expectations. There has been plenty of times where I psyched myself out going to events that turned out to be very chill and laid back. Just show up and feel it out. If it is wildly crowded and overwhelming then just head out when you please. Trust me you are not missing out on anything if you show up to a place that is jam packed with people drinking and the music is blasting while your sober.
• Drive yourself. Do not offer or guarantee anyone else that is drinking a ride home. If you have a car, drive yourself to the event, nothing wrong with offering people a ride to the event but home, I would avoid offering people a ride. If your time is up and you want to leave at anytime you have a way out. You do not owe anyone an explanation you can just leave.
• Have a sober friend around. I hope throughout your sobriety journey you can find time to connect with other sober people out there. This will make everything much easier on you. If you go to a party or event and know someone else there is also sober, you will just feel more comfortable.

All the uncomfortable moments you have throughout your sobriety journey are reminders that you are experiencing growth. If you show up somewhere with drinking involved and you are newly sober, this is likely an entirely new experience for you. You cannot compare it to anything in your past when you did drink. If you hate it that is ok. Maybe you never truly enjoyed these types of events or parties to begin with and this is you taking the time to realize that. I have come to realize there are a lot of things in my past life that I truly just did not enjoy as much as I thought I did, I just associated them with drinking. While I still enjoy watching sports, I definitely do not like them as much as I thought I did and that is because for any big game I would drink.

It’s not easy but it gets easier. If you are working through your own sobriety journey just know that the rewards of being sober will soon show up in your life. Sometimes you have to go through some painful and uncomfortable times while making a serious life change. Without these difficult times you would not be able to see the good things soon to come. One day at a time.

I am giving therapy another go. I got into therapy around my 3-4 month mark in my sobriety journey. We mainly focused on getting through those difficult times and working through things I could control. It was fairly high level conversations just discussing things like general good health habits I could seek and practice. It was great for what I needed at the time. It motivated me to continue on my sobriety journey and pointed out some of my detrimental habits. I improved on my communication skills and now feel far more comfortable opening up to friends/family and in my writing. I took a break after about my 10th session. I truthfully cancelled a session and never reached back out. Part of me felt like I outgrew the types of conversations I was having and part of me felt like that therapist was good for me then but not now. I am seeking a new therapist. I truly feel much better than I did in the past few months. At times I felt like I was maybe good on therapy for a while. I do have a goal of getting off anti-depressants however and I think a good step towards that is seeking medical help. Instead of going into this therapy with the main focus being on alcoholism, I want to focus on my addictive personality and attachment issues. Without my first therapist assisting me in realizing I carry over my attachment and addictive personality into other aspects of my life, I likely would not be booking a new appointment to see a new therapist.

I used to think that you were in some deep shit to see a therapist or you had a very traumatic event happen. I now view therapy much differently. I think it is a very positive outlet and coping mechanism for any issues life can throw at you. I think everyone would benefit from therapy, no matter where you are in your life. It can help remind yourself of the obvious things you should be doing like getting rest, eating well, and exercising to the deeper things like expressing your emotions and letting your past go.

I personally sensed that although I feel in control of my life right now, I am feeling pretty lonely and get tense/angry because I dont have much of an outlet to turn to. I will not turn to drinking or drugs to ease my mind. I feel like I am doing a lot of the right things and I am once again struggling with patience and being content with where I am at. Getting the chance to open up to someone who has a totally un-biased perspective on my life will certainly assist me in easing the tension. I hope that this second attempt at therapy brings me more clarity on how I react to difficult life events like heartbreak and difficult emotions like anxiousness and depression.

Ideally I want to be in total control of my own happiness and not be reliant on any person or thing. I want to be able to go into a future relationship with more balance in my life, less attachment, and better boundaries. I currently am not the best at letting things outside of my control be as they are. I can get into a relationship of any kind and feel the urge to push someone along to be the person I wish they would be for me. I recognize that it is not too healthy and the best thing to do is to control yourself and let other people be who they are. There is no need to try and force something along solely for the reason that you feel like things should go differently. You cannot force other people to do things they dont want to do, feel the way you want them to feel, or act they way you wish they would act. Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away. What is meant to be for you will eventually come into your life and what is not will never be. Make good decisions for yourself today and trust the path you’re on.

I dont really know how to jump into this so I guess I will just say it. I am dealing with a heartbreak. I had some incredibly difficult times the past few months. I have worked long and hard to open up to people and start showing them my true self. I have also worked very hard at learning to not take things personally. You deserve to put yourself first in this world. You only get one chance at this life and I hope everyone can work to understand that people need to do whats best for them. I had one moment in the past month or so when I wanted a drink. I was on a plane and dealing with some pretty bad emotions. I was sad, angry, anxious and I had to just sit and focus on my breathing and begin writing. I am forever grateful my sobriety and mental health struggles have re-introduced me to my love of writing. I feel like heartbreak comes at times you least expect it but also at the time you need it the most. I packed up and moved down to Austin solo and was in a very bad place in my life. I was in the early stages of my sobriety, trying to get a grasp on my anxiety and depression, and isolating myself a lot. I had met someone fairly early on and things progressed, it became a great friendship. My first new friendship since getting sober. Long story short things did not go the way I had wanted them to. I wanted so badly at times to look outward and find someone or something to blame. I feel like its human instinct to almost hope heartbreak comes with a terrible ending so you can feel better about your decisions. In this case, no bad ending. Just a situation that was not intended to work out at this time. I find it interesting that there is no cure or common solution to get over heartbreak. It is always just time. Time to yourself. Time reflecting. Time getting out and doing the things you like to do. Time with friends. I wish I could sit here and tell you all the perfect guidebook and steps to dealing with heartbreak but I can’t. Instead I just wanted to be open and honest about my situation because it is real. Everyone goes through it at some point in their life. Whether it is losing a friend, growing apart from someone, losing a pet, getting a divorce, etc. So what is the point of holding all your emotions and feelings in. That is no way to cope. It may seem like the best thing to do in the moment. It may feel comfortable and you may have the hardest time just getting out to do simple daily tasks. But you got to do it. I am writing this blog not only to help someone out there going through heartbreak but to hold myself accountable. I will not let my negative emotions and sadness prevent me from working on progressing. You can be sad and depressed and still find time to exercise, write, meet with friends, read, clean your room etc. Feelings are not permanent. I had written in my own journal a while back what I believed the purpose of life was. I thought at the time and still think that the purpose of life is to feel. To feel alive and apart this whole thing. To connect and open up about your story. To be willing to hurt and heal and hurt all over again. Because these feelings are constant reminders that you are alive, you are human, you are not so different from everyone else. So as you continue on your own journey remember it is ok to do what is best for you even though it might hurt. It might not only hurt you but the people around you, and that is OK. Work on not taking things personally. If someone you care about in your life makes a decision that they believe is best for them you are only going to hurt yourself by taking it personally. The best decisions are the hardest ones to make. You need to prioritize yourself.

If you are finding yourself in a similar situation I hope you can find time each day to do things future you will be grateful for. I wiped clean my whiteboard this morning and just put three bullet points. “Break a sweat” “Leave the apartment everyday” “Read, Write, or Meditate 10 minutes a day”. I am going to work hard at staying true to that.

Also with it being mens mental health month, do not hesitate to reach out if you are struggling. Men are far less likely than women to seek help for depression and stressful life events due to social norms. I hope I am showing at least one person it is normal to be a male and struggle with mental health.

The answers to why I am a recovering alcoholic are buried deep away somewhere. I have spent sometime digging into why I have an issue and facing this without judgement. I found it really really easy in my past to experience uncomfortable feelings and emotions and bury them almost immediately. Let’s take the morning after a rough blackout for example, I was always the kind of person who wanted to start drinking again the moment I woke up. I did not want to try and remember the actions I took the night before and sit in my thoughts, feeling like total shit. So I did what a typical alcoholic would do and turned back to the booze. A few drinks to forget. My anxiety started to get unbearable toward the end of my drinking journey. Although I started noticing this in 2018 or so, I still turned a blind eye for a few more years before taking action and making a legit effort to control/stop drinking. I drank to escape. I drank to avoid responsibilities that stressed me out. I drank to forget past memories that embarrassed me. I drank to forget that I had low self-esteem. I drank to avoid my negative internal dialogue.

Through sobriety I have learned that drinking did not make my problems go away, they simply made me forget about them. That shy, anxious, awkward kid didn’t turn outgoing, bubbly, and confident after a few drinks. He instead forgot he was shy, anxious, and awkward. Drinking did and does nothing to solve your problems. You do not just need a few drinks to loosen up. You need to look into why you feel so up tight in the first place. While there are certainly plenty of deeper issues and reasons why I am a recovering alcoholic, I was able to check off some of them through my past 9-10 months of sobriety. A lot of the reasons I already subconsciously knew, I just refused to sit with my emotions and feelings while I was drinking to accept them. I was able to discover why I have issues with alcohol through 1. removing alcohol out of my life, 2. Speaking to a doctor, close friends/family, and a therapist, 3. spending time alone to discover my true interests.

I have also discovered that because I am an alcoholic I have a pretty addictive/obsessive personality. Simply put, if things dont go the way I had envisioned in my mind I get pretty fucking pissy pretty easily. That is not healthy. I have learned to understand the kind of person I am and the kinds of things I need to do when I start feeling obsessive over things in my life. Let’s take a morning cup of coffee for example. This is how I sometimes remind myself I really do have a problem. I have mornings where I will wake up feel good, walk to the coffee shop and start feeling the caffeine buzz. I start obsessing over that feeling and loving exactly how I feel in that moment. I have started to think to myself at times “I wish I could live my life feeling like this at all times”. I have come to understand that shit, if I am addicted to a cup of coffee like this it makes sense how I was addicted to getting drunk or high. In working through my sobriety I have come to accept that you can’t live your life feeling good all the time. You can’t escape feeling sluggish, depressed, anxious because without accepting those feelings and working to understand why you feel that way you will never grow. (I think in my blog I have said that last sentence in more ways than one at least 10 times).

It is ok to have days where you have low self esteem, feel bloated, angry, depressed, anxious etc. . Not every day can be great that is just not a realistic life. Every single person that woke up today did not feel great. Emotional intelligence to me is one of the most valuable life skills anyone can work on. For me, choosing to remove alcohol out of my life has allowed me to get started on improving my own emotional intelligence. If you want to improve yourself in anyway the first step I can recommend would be to figure out why. Why did you wake up one day and think you need better for yourself? Have you felt like shit for too long? Do you consistently bash yourself for the way you look? If you are asking yourself these questions go easy on yourself! You are brave in your own right for wanting to improve. Taking those first few steps are the hardest things you can do. Take things one day at a time. Reach out for help if you need it, there is no shame in asking for it.

I havent really checked my sobriety counter all that much lately. If I can think back to it, I have felt pretty decent about choosing not to drink after about 6 or 7 months. The shift from “I can’t drink” to “I don’t drink” happened around the 6 month mark. I have spent some time lately reflecting and have been getting pretty emotional trying to deal with the feelings I have. I used to turn to drinking to ease my mind it was the easiest way for me to shut off my always racing brain. I have been dealing with a fair amount of loneliness trying to balance protecting my space and time while also trying to not isolate and close myself off to new relationships. I have an addictive personality hence the drinking problem and it didn’t just go away when I decided to get sober. I apply a lot of pressure on myself to “get better” and work on being happy when at times the best thing for me to do is to just sit and reflect. A lot of the emotions I have been feeling lately are brand new to my sober brain and however I choose to react to them are valid. It is all a learning experience and I have really started to lean into my belief in fate. I fully believe that everything happens for a reason and at the exact time it is supposed to happen in your life. It is important to reflect on how you react to these life events and how you perceive the experiences you find yourself in. I have been seeing the quote “sometimes the loneliness journeys wind up being the greatest ones” or something along those lines and I am starting to believe that to be true. It is ok to be alone, to take the time you need to discover who you are. I was on vacation a few days ago sitting on the beach and watching the waves and I found myself holding back tears. Truthfully sometimes I find myself wanting to just cry at times and I have a really hard time determining why. I think this recent time was for good reasons. I have an incredibly difficult time quieting my mind, the past year or so it has felt like I am constantly exhausted because I couldn’t get my mind to just stop racing. It got so frustrating and I times I started to wonder what in the world was wrong with me and my brain. I have just been searching for peace and working really hard at trying to feel happy. Honestly, at my lowest there were times where I just wanted to feel something even it was painful. When I was sitting on the beach I felt free from my mind for the first time in a long time. Things just kind of slowed down for me and I just felt like for that brief moment I had found what I was searching long and hard for and that was just peace and happiness. You can beat your thoughts. You can go through some really really shitty times and get to a point where you are grateful for those times. I am not saying that my mental health issues and sobriety journey have been perfected because of this brief moment, in fact I had some bad moments on that vacation too. But I finally felt like I can get better and that moments like that can start to happen more often. I don’t need to go through life battling negative thoughts and bash myself on a regular basis because I didn’t stay true to my inner voice. You are not defined by your thoughts. I believe everyone is deserving of happiness. I have discovered through my 290 days of sobriety that I set some really high standards for myself and apply a lot of pressure on myself. It is not healthy. I need to start being happy for what I have while still maintaining a drive to improve. I have a supportive family, good friends, good health, a good job, and 290 days of sobriety. Life does not always need to be go go go and questioning when the next big life event will happen. Things will play out for you the way they were intended, your path is already drawn out and if you continue to keep doing the right things you will find happiness along the way. I still certainly have goals I want to achieve but right now I am in a place where I want to and need to stop and slow down. I don’t need to do anything out of the ordinary. I just need to continue to be my own biggest supporter and try my best to remain proud of myself. I really hope that anyone out there that may read this knows that it gets better. When you are in the shitty times nothing anyone will tell you will stick… I even remember hearing people say things will turn around and I wanted to believe them but I just couldn’t. My mindset was so negative and that was and is not my fault. Be good to yourself. I intend to practice positive self talk and reinforce it through writing/journaling. Just have a little trust and faith that you are where you need to be right now and good things are coming when you will need it most.

Truthfully, I have been pretty busy with life lately and focusing on trying to get to a good place mentally. Need to remember that when I start to feel good it is because I worked hard for it and when I stop putting in the effort it can go away. So I am just working at getting back to work and prioritizing whats important, trying to stay away from my phone and unnecessary distractions.

This blog I am just going to link some resources, books, and other things that may help someone who is struggling with sobriety/drinking/mental health.

• This Naked Mind A book about how the stigma of alcoholism and recovery can keep people from getting the help they need. This book allowed me to look at sobriety differently and view it as a choice far more than a need.
  • The author Annie Grace also hosts a Podcast where she brings in guests who share their stories
• This Past Weekend #379 with Theo Von, Theo mentions is struggles with mental health and how he is making an attempt to get off anti-depressants. Fair warning he does mention how he is trying psychedelics. This has become one of my favorite podcasts because of how open Theo is about his struggles and how normal he makes me feel when I feel abnormal.
  • Check out this clip from a struggling alcoholic who calls Theo
• Joe Rogan Podcasts have many guests that discuss sobriety. Nikki Glaser, talks about how bad her hangovers got and how common it was for her to blackout. Full episode is JRE #1360. Ron White is another guest who quit drinking.
• Stephanie Still, I think I just went on YouTube one night and typed in “getting sober when you are young” or “sober in college” and her videos popped up. It was really nice for me to see another person that was college aged struggling with alcohol just like me.
• The Phoenix a National Sober Active Community. I have yet to go to an AA meeting so The Phoenix was my first taste at sober community events. I won’t lie, I have only been to a few but the times I went I never regretted it. Sometimes all you need to do is to spend time around other sober people even if you dont talk about it. They have events in many major cities like group hikes, tennis, basketball, walks, farmers markets etc.
• Check out a list of books on sobriety here

Resources are out there for you, people want to help. You do not need to feel like you are the only one who struggles with drinking/drugs. You can join an AA meeting, talk to a doctor, see a therapist, talk to close friends or family, and google is your friend. When I was in a bad spot I would constantly look to google, youtube, reddit and just search things like “why should I stop drinking” “why do I always blackout?” “sober when young” etc. etc.

It has been four months since I packed up and moved to Austin, TX. I knew no one here and pretty impulsively decided I would leave my home state of Massachusetts. I honestly didn’t even put much thought into where I wanted to go, I just knew I didn’t want to stay where I was at. I just wanted to live somewhere warm where I could be outside in the winter months and I happened to visit Austin a few years ago. I hopped on a roommate search Facebook page and found myself a decent apartment and pulled the trigger. The month or so leading up to the move and the month after were pretty difficult. It was the holidays, I was still pretty early on in my sobriety and I was not on any medication. I just kinda sat with a lot of stress and uncertainty. I just tried to remind myself that the worst case scenario was me simply just packing back up again and moving home. In the back of my mind though I knew I would not regret the decision. Regardless, I knew I would be able to take something from the move and learn more about myself. This has proven to be true and I can confidently say I have learned more about myself in these past few months than I have in the past few years.

When I first got down here I needed to get settled and I did not like how that was gonna take some time. I was pretty anxious and impatient. I didn’t have a car, friends, or a general idea of my surroundings. I put a lot of pressure on myself to get comfortable fast and to make friends. After a month or so I understood and accepted that I couldn’t force those things and it was better to let things unfold naturally and over time. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to sit back and wait. I started to enjoy the simple things and started to get more comfortable in my sobriety. I looked to exercise a lot to take my mind off of things and just started reminding myself that I did not need to do anything I did not want to do. I got used to weekends in sobriety, something I struggled with for the longest time and still struggle with on occasion. I realized that I am happiest when I am consistently busy and productive and protecting my own time. I realized that when I start to get anxious and have depressive thoughts that the easiest way for me to avoid that is to get busy. I take a drive, go for a walk, go to the gym, the driving range, play golf, go fishing, clean my apartment, buy shit I probably shouldn’t buy.

I started to realize that as much as it is important to have friends and a social circle it is equally important to have a good relationship with yourself. Being able to spend time with yourself and truly enjoy your own company is a great feeling. I had always struggled with getting out and doing things by myself. If a friend bailed on plans or no one wanted to tag along to do something, I would likely just not go. I still struggle at times with getting out and doing things solo but I rarely look at it as a burden. At times I actually enjoy it more. There is no stress around making plans with others and you have the freedom to simply do what you feel like doing in that moment. At first I kinda thought what I was doing was a little sad and depressing…. I think that is because I was looking at it from the perspective of other people and not my own. I guess if you think about it… I did kinda just pack up and leave my home state/city, family, and social circle at the time behind. But I did it for the best reason and that was to prioritize myself. I have been able to spend time enjoying my own company. I have met some good friends that I enjoy spending time with and did so pretty naturally without applying unnecessary pressure on myself to do so. I recognize when I may be feeling up for socializing and when it may be best for me to hang in or spend time alone and I no longer see that as isolating or being lonely or just being boring.

I have also come to realize that it feels good to be a good person and to be nice to other people. I had a hard time being a good person when I was not prioritizing myself and was an active alcoholic. The more I start to get comfortable in my own skin and the more I enjoy my own company the easier it gets to be my true self around others. So before you try and accomplish what you initially set out to do for the year, the month, your lifetime, or even the day ahead I would urge you to first and foremost make sure you have a good relationship with yourself. It is ok if you don’t think you do at this very moment as long as you can recognize it and work to better that relationship you will be happy you did.

The short answer is yes, on occasion. I would imagine people that are my age and enjoy going out and drinking on the weekends have this question. I had some great memories and times getting fucked up with friends no question. I still occasionally have moments where I think back to those days and glorify the good times. Just yesterday I was driving home and was blasting a song in my car and truthfully… I thought about a few times I did some drugs and got drunk. They were really good times I cant sit here and lie to you. I am glad I have those memories and can think back on them as I am sitting here today. I do not regret those times. But for me the thing is I had far more bad times than good when it came to doing drugs and drinking. Simply put it got to a point where I recognized if I was going out and choosing to drink there was a very high chance I was going to black out and not remember my night. It is easy to look back on your past and only think about the good times… everyone does it. Who wants to think about the bad times? It isn’t fun to talk about, reminisce on, and they don’t make for good stories. I am happy to say I have gotten to a point now where simple things bring my joy and satisfaction. Things that I used to thing were “lame” or “a drag” are now things I like to do. I worked hard to find the joy in these things. I recognized that when I was nearing the end of my drinking/partying life I was only feeding my depression and anxiety. Hangovers lasted three to four days. There were times where I found it hard to just feel “normal” both physically and mentally for weeks on end. The saying “drinking today is just stealing happiness from tomorrow” rang true for me and then some. I would sit at my desk for work on Monday mornings and just feel dead and depleted. I wouldn’t want to leave my apartment because I knew I would be hit with a wave of anxiety the moment I was surrounded by people. I just wanted to get through the day so I could hopefully fall asleep and feel slightly better tomorrow and the cycle continued. Thursday and Friday would roll around and I would find it pretty easy to forget how I felt the entire week and I fed back into my alcoholism. So even though I do miss it I do not think too long and hard about my decision to keep it out of my life today. I can leave my house on a Monday morning now to go grab a coffee and run errands and not feel like it is a daunting task. The only times I wake up and feel like shit is when I get sick it’s no longer every single week. Going to grab lunch or coffee with a friend is fun to me and if that is the only thing I did all week to socialize I would be happy. I am gradually starting to recognize who I am and I feel confident in my abilities to grow into the person I want to become. I have goals that I once never would have convinced myself I could achieve that now seem very achievable. Life still gets hard and things come up that are far from ideal but with drinking and hangovers and self-induced fuck ups out of the equation these hardships are becoming easier to face. I am not saying that everyone that reads this should stop drinking and doing drugs now because they are bad. Last thing I want to sound like is your old high school health teacher. If you want to drink and party and do drugs more power to you. I just want to spread a message that there may be something out there that is getting in your way… it could be a relationship, job, diet, environment, spending habit etc. The more you work to recognize these things and remove them from your life the more you will respect yourself and feel happy that you took initiative and did something to better your life. Before choosing to get sober I can’t remember the last time I stopped, reflected on how I felt, and did something to make myself feel better. I always knew I wanted to do something to change how I felt I just really struggled at taking the necessary steps to do so. I had no sense of direction and I now fully realize it had to do with my choices to negatively impact my life through drinking. I was hurting myself both physically and mentally week after week yet I would wonder why I am feeling down and overwhelmed in life. For you, it might not be drinking but it likely is a conscious life decision you are making that may lead you to feel this way as well. Reflecting on how you feel and trying to figure out what may be causing you to feel that way is hard but important and necessary for growth. Everyone starts somewhere and you only need to take things one day at a time. If you notice yourself occasionally missing some things you did in your past that is a sign of change. As always do whatever the fuck you want to do in this life cause it’s yours and no one else’s. If you’re out there working to better yourself I hope some of the things I write about resonate and help you in anyway.

As I am getting more comfortable in my sobriety and new ways of life. I have been able to get a better understanding as to what things can increase my self confidence and general well-being. My self confidence for the most part was shit when I was drinking heavily and in a depressive state. That is just one of the many factors that led me to drink to the extent I did.

I have had to work to gain confidence and self-respect back. I am still working on this and probably always will as it is something I will always want to improve. I still have plenty of days where I don’t feel my best, but they have been less frequent lately. Obviously, I made the decision to remove alcohol from my life but that one thing has not gradually improved my life it has just opened more doors to find ways to improve. It has allowed me to live in an uncomfortable unknown state of being for a while and I had no choice but to embrace it. So yeah, the common trend here is embracing change and doing uncomfortable things leads to self confidence. But, what are some things that I have noticed make me feel better about myself? Some things that I can do on a day to day basis and some things that you could implement into your life.

• Getting out of the apartment once a day
  • Seems simple but with remote work you may have noticed the day seems to fly by and you may have not stepped outside once.
  • Preferably leave the apartment within the first hour of waking up. (I can almost guarantee you will be more productive throughout the day in doing this)
  • I am no doctor but I do know that getting sunlight increases dopamine and will make you feel better about yourself.
  • I have listened to Huberman Lab Podcast and he speaks about the importance of viewing sunlight
  • Force yourself to get outside and feel like a functioning member of society even on the days you want to work from your bed
• Exercise and I don’t just mean hitting arms
  • I enjoy hitting the gym to try and look big as much as the next guy but you should really try and exercise with the intent of increasing your heart rate and breaking a sweat.
  • Again, not a doctor but as someone who deals with anxiety I am aware of the importance of naturally increasing your heart rate through exercise.
  • Worry more about how exercising makes you feel and less about how it makes you look.
  • I wasn’t really weighing myself recently because I didn’t want the number on the scale to reflect how I felt about the work I was putting in to get better physically.
• Wear shit that makes you feel good
  • I am definitely not one to care too much about fashion, drip, material things etc. but “look good play good feel good” – Deion Sanders
  • I personally just have a couple articles of clothing that I like to wear and feel as if they fit me well.
  • I make sure I feel comfortable in what I am wearing before I leave the apartment and after that I don’t really tend to think about what I have on
  • Self-confidence is the real “drip” and if adding “drip” boosts your self confidence more power to you.
• Hygiene
  • Just take a shower, brush your teeth, shave, put on deodorant etc.
  • Pretty self explanatory. If this aspect of your life starts falling off, be cautious of how you are feeling.
• Try new shit
  • This one is pretty receptive across all self-improvement content so I will list some examples
  • Go to a new coffee shop
  • See a movie by yourself
  • Try making a new dinner for yourself
  • Wake up crazy early one morning to catch the sunrise
  • Take a new fitness class or implement a new workout routine
  • Listen to a different podcast, read a new book, watch a documentary you wouldn’t normally watch
  • Approach new people, introduce yourself, realize how normal it is to do the things you were once nervous to do
• Be cautious of the content you consume
  • This one isn’t easy in todays day with insta, tiktok, snapchat, youtube, twitter all in our hands but just try and be more aware of what you are actually doing
  • I am by no means perfect with this shit and hope to improve on this
  • Just don’t get too caught up in a twitter thread, an instagram post, a video/tiktok… because at the end of the day that is not real life and it is something you should remind yourself of
  • That guy/girl likely doesn’t look exactly like their instagram post 24/7… that trip that so and so took may have actually been a disaster…
  • I will use myself as an example… although I didn’t really post much… on my cross country road trip a few months back I was very unhealthy both physically and mentally but from the outside looking in (through a phone screen) no one would have thought about that…. it’s not all a perfect world out there and you shouldn’t consume content that makes you feel like you a lesser person than someone else

I am sure I could keep the list rolling but at the end of the day the common trend is keeping yourself busy doing things that make you feel good. Feeling accomplished, setting minor goals and achieving them, reminding yourself you are capable of taking action, reminding yourself you are an individual and don’t always do what the rest of the crowd is doing. Be confident in who you are and watch things unfold for you. Just work to be more aware of how you generally feel and understand there are always things you can do for yourself to improve on these feelings. It is ok to feel like shit but it is not ok to feel like shit for too long without doing anything about it. As always, if things seem unmanageable in your life reach out to others and tell them… talking about it is the most productive thing you can do for yourself. Drop me an email if you want to talk as well lastdropblog@gmail.com

As someone working on sobriety and who deals with mental health issues, it is common for me to overanalyze and overthink. I have grown to learn the importance of breaking things down and attempting to simplify goals and actions. I got a whiteboard not too long ago and have been writing down goals. I have a section for weekly goals, daily goals, weekend goals, daily reminders (my big 4), a quote I currently enjoy, and a miscellaneous section. Early on I would struggle writing things out on the board, I would get started and then get stuck on one thing and felt like I could fill the entire board with micro goals within the one broad goal.

Nutrition, Hydration, Exercise, Sleep. Those are my big 4 and have stayed up on my board since I got it. Broad and direct. It is easy for me to look at those 4 words and understand what I should do or how I can determine my progress. I simplified a ton of thoughts and micro goals into these four words. For example, with nutrition I could find myself going around in circles about the things I want to do. Eat 3 full meals a day, eat a full breakfast, have both fruits and vegetables today, eat over 2000 calories… the list could go on. It is important for me to realize that adding all these things to my board do not help me in achieving my goals, instead they actually stress me the fuck out and make me feel bad if I cant check off all these things at the end of the day. You only have so much time in a day to do the things you want/should do, every day there is likely going to be things you wish you would have done but didnt have the time for or you just couldn’t get yourself to do them for whatever reason and thats ok. There is no use in setting unrealistic goals for yourself. I have since worked on simplifying my goals and have been able to look up at my board and not feel overwhelmed by the bar I set for myself.

I also accept that right now it is not realistic for me to perfect all four of those goals. Not everyday I am going to get a solid 8 hours of rest, eat a healthy amount of quality food, get to the gym, and drink enough water. So last week I worked on prioritizing sleep and I am glad I did. I found myself getting to bed earlier and waking up feeling more rested. I still struggled getting up some mornings but I gained a better understanding of the importance of a good nights rest. This week I plan on prioritizing nutrition. I am going to attempt to be more aware of the amount of food I eat and gauge how my intake makes me feel. I am not going to apply too much focus on the things I choose to eat but rather the amount. After this week I would like to have a better understanding on how my caloric intake makes me feel. My goals are realistic for me right now at this stage in my life. They don’t overwhelm me, I wont be incredibly upset if I don’t achieve them all today or this week, I just work on acknowledging them and understanding how achieving them can make me feel. Things constantly change and your goals will change, I may have had goals months or weeks ago that I no longer care to achieve now and thats perfectly fine. As long as I am progressing on what is important to me right now in this moment I will be content. As long as I can be conscious and understand that I will not be able to do a million things at once I will prevent unnecessary stress. This whiteboard definitely added to my stress levels when I first got it because I put up a million things I wanted to achieve with no realistic deadline or plan of action. I now know how to be more realistic with my goals and how to break down some thoughts or ideas into broader simpler tasks. Thinking smarter not harder is a good way to sum up the lesson learned here. Taking a step back and being realistic with myself has allowed me to set better boundaries. It has allowed me to get a better understanding for how I think about things and what may lead to stress in my life. Most importantly, it has helped improve my decision making skills. I am better at waking up each morning and taking action, taking control of my day, and understanding what it is that I want for myself in that moment. Im no expert, but I recognize that simplifying my goals and breaking things down to a level that I am comfortable with has led to minor improvements in my everyday life.