Last Drop Blog

I had a bad day yesterday. I havent had the best past couple of weeks. I have been struggling getting out of bed in the mornings, I havent been getting the best sleep, my diet is on and off, and my motivation is hard to find. I had a really hard time doing anything yesterday. It was a Saturday and weekends have been really difficult for me throughout this sobriety journey. I spent a majority of my day battling some bad anxiety and isolating myself. This led to a lot of depressive thoughts. I had myself wondering if I was ever going to get better mentally and if the medication I am taking is bad for me. I got back on medication for depression/anxiety for the second time throughout this sobriety journey. This was after a discussion I had with a therapist and then a doctor. If you feel like prescribed medication may assist you I would urge you to speak to a doctor and therapist if possible. The conclusion we came to was that it is pretty clear I was self-medicating with alcohol for several years and at this time it is better for me to be prescribed medication than for me to risk negative thoughts and the possibility of drinking again. The first time I went on this medication, I let it run its course for about two months and quickly decided I did not want to be on it. I felt like it was cheating in a way and I had a negative perception to drugs even if they were doctor prescribed. This time I am going to give the medication a fair chance for several months. It takes some time for my body to get adjusted to this and I assume my lack of motivation and bad sleep is a result of my body adjusting. I do not want to be on medication for too long and I understand it is not the healthiest thing for your body. However, the alternative for me was drinking for the longest time. A prescribed medication is far better for my body than blacking out a few times a week. Don’t need a doctor to tell me that. Heavy drinking increases the chances of cancer, high blood pressure, stroke, liver disease…. the list goes on and on. As someone who drank very heavily for several years I felt and still feel the impacts it has had on my body and I am only in my early 20’s. If I continued down the path I was on I surely would not have been feeling too hot once I got older and I wouldn’t have been able to turn the clock back to prevent it. Anyways… I got a little off topic there talking about prescribed medication vs. drinking. That’s just where my head goes when I come to terms with my decision to get on medication. I am not ashamed to be on medication and truly feel like it is the right thing for me at this time.

Back to yesterday. A Saturday, decent weather, no work, no plans… sounds pretty chill and relaxing right? Wrong. I woke up very anxious, I knew I probably should have made an effort to get out of my apartment so I did. I walked to the store and went for a run by the water. I was not enjoying myself. Anxiety was winning the entire day. I did not want to be around anyone and socializing was last on my list of things I wanted to do. This led to a mental battle because it was a Saturday and if you don’t know already, I recently moved to a new city. I have goals of meeting new people and finding some friends. I sometimes feel the pressure I put on myself and it weighs on me. The afternoon rolled around and I basically just shut myself off from the world. I stayed in bed and tried my best to calm down. I tried to write a blog and I typed up some shit and never got through it. I was in such a bad headspace that no matter what I wrote I would have convinced myself it was dumb and pointless. When these kinds of days come around I have the hardest time getting out of my own head. I don’t feel tired, I cant relax, I can hardly zone out and watch TV. It truly is a battle and is a reminder that these days can happen no matter what stage you may be in your journey. Sure, I thought about how drinking would get me out of my head and just allow me to calm down. At this point I have dealt with those thoughts enough to know it is not worth it. So all in all I just sat there yesterday and took the mental beating. I just had to accept that eventually I was going to fall asleep and eventually it would be a new day. Eventually I would have another chance to wake up and not feel like total shit. Good news is I had a pretty decent day today. I didn’t really do anything special but I didn’t feel the same way I did yesterday and for that I was grateful. I did some of the things I know I should have done yesterday but couldn’t find the motivation to do.

As I approach 6 months of sobriety I am starting to recognize that bad days happen and will continue to happen regardless of how far along you may be. Sometimes as much as you may not want to you have to take the loss. Yesterday, I had to shut myself off and just fight through some pretty shitty thoughts and feelings. That’s ok and if anyone finds themselves having one of these days it’s ok too. The important thing for me is that I did not drink. I am on my way to being 6 months sober and I am proud of that. I have done so many positive things for myself since making the choice to remove alcohol from my life and days like yesterday can make it very difficult to see that. If you are sober, you have likely made an incredibility difficult decision to prioritize yourself and your health. That decision in itself should be enough to make you proud. You recognized something that was negatively impacting your life and well-being and you took action. That decision has led to many other smaller decisions that you may not even be aware of. You may now be more cautious of what you eat, you may be nicer to friends and family, you may get outside more often, you may respect yourself more.

As I face a new week I am looking to bounce back from this bad day I want to carry on this positive mindset. The choice to get sober has led to many positives in my life and it has and will take time for me to see these. The choice to wake up today and make an honest effort to have a better day than yesterday has led me to writing this blog. A choice I make tomorrow can impact my morning, entire day, or entire week. I am going to try my best to make the right choices this coming week and understand the impact they can have on me. I kinda ran out of gas here and my brain is shutting down but the message I would like to get across is the fact that time heals all things and you might just being doing a whole lot better than you think you are… its just about how you perceive it.

It is not uncommon to get urges to relapse.

These urges can be pretty confusing and hard to understand. You can go from being motivated, feeling good, confident in you sobriety to feeling weak and willing to toss it all away. I have definitely had mental battles throughout my sobriety journey. I have thought about stopping, contemplating how I would be if I decided to go back to drinking, considering future events and how sobriety may impact them. Walking past bars, a sunny friday afternoon, a sporting event, a song… you name it, these can all lead to troubling thoughts that have me questioning why I chose to do this to myself.

“Well if I stopped now what would people think?” “It’s my life who cares if I go back to boozing?” “Would I still drink the exact same way?” “Would I be less depressed if I decided to drink again?”

It is important to remember at one point in time you made a conscious decision to remove this substance from your life because you determined it was the best thing for you. That was not an easy decision. You likely spent months, if not years contemplating it and finally you gained the courage to tackle this problem head on. You made the decision for you and no one else. So what should you do if you start questioning this decision?

I have some thoughts on this that may help, they have helped me.

Talk to someone about these thoughts. A family member, friend, significant other, therapist. Get them out of your head and off your chest. I assure you the outcome will likely lead to less of an urge to keep having these thoughts. You may answer some of your own questions by just talking things through.

Remove yourself from a difficult situation if you happen to have found yourself in one. Don’t be afraid to just up and leave a party, bar, game or event. There is no shame in taking time for yourself to slow these thoughts down and it will prevent impulsive decisions.

Write. I am not saying you need to write blog posts like me, but you should work to journal consistently. On top of this you should go back and skim through your past writings. You will probably find something you wrote and it will remind you of your “why” the reason or reasons you chose to prioritize yourself.

Find positive distractions. Listen to music you enjoy, exercise, watch a funny movie/show, cook a nice dinner, clean you workspace or bedroom. Sometimes you just need to take action because the thoughts or urges can be too tough to sit with. So get your mind off of them.

Remind yourself that you are not the only sober person on this planet. Although at times it can feel like it. Watch sobriety videos on YouTube, find posts on reddit, search your area for sober groups, read books, listen to podcasts, google famous people who are sober. Remind yourself it is possible and with time it will get easier.

My closing here will be in reference to the blog title. A lot of times we seek for motivation and the hard truth is motivation is not always going to be there for you. Lately, it has been pretty hard to find for me. This is when you need to rely on discipline. You are either going to struggle with being disciplined enough to keep going or struggle with the regret of stopping.

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.” -Jim Rohn

As I am getting more comfortable with my sobriety, I figured it would be a good idea to identify the purpose behind the blog. I typically just open this up, write whatever is on my mind, and close down the laptop. Not too much thought goes into my writing and the posts are typically just me sharing my stories, thoughts, feelings. While I still will write about my personal experiences and how they impact me along my sobriety journey, I want to work to help others. I want there to be a little more purpose behind my posts going forward. I want someone to read one of my posts and have an action they can look to take, a book they can read, a thought they can implement etc.

I recently passed 5 months of sobriety and while I would still consider that early stages it is also a substantial amount of time. I still battle with my mental health and sobriety journey daily, I just feel as if I am starting to get more comfortable with who I am without substances. So now that it is the new year and people may be looking to better themselves, I figured I would make an honest attempt to be a voice in the sober community. When I was sober curious for the past few years, I struggled to find people online in their 20’s talk about sobriety. I gradually see an increase in the number of outspoken individuals and groups that discuss sobriety, but still not enough in my opinion. Specifically not enough males, just in my searching I typically see more females in their 20’s speaking about sobriety than males. I don’t want to narrow down a target audience, I simply want to bring some light into sobriety at a younger age as a male in todays culture.

In case you havent read my past blogs, my name is Will, I am 24 years old, I now live in Austin, TX and I have struggled with alcohol ever since I started drinking around the age of 16. After many years of my unhealthy relationship with drinking, I decided to get sober. It has now been 5 months since my last drink and it has hands down been the hardest 5 months of my life. However, it has also been the most rewarding and telling 5 months.

So if you are sober now, looking to explore sobriety, or even a drinker who wants to gain insight… I hope this blog can help in anyway. I am willing to be an open book, I actually even notice talking about my sobriety and life has helped me get through tough times, even if its through writing. If you want to know the whys behind my decisions, how choices have made me feel, what I have done in tough situations, where I am in life and where I want to be… you name it… I am willing to be as open as possible.

I will leave this post with a few things. Realizing I had a problem with drinking was not hard, accepting it was. It took me close to 8 years to accept that I had a problem with alcohol. Understanding why you have a problem/addiction is incredibly difficult and emotional. For me the understanding only came after choosing to get sober, I do not believe I ever would be able to determine why I am an alcoholic without removing alcohol from my life. I am still working to discover what led me to have a problem with alcohol and I am learning new things about myself constantly. I have not been able to get sober and stay sober alone and I have definitely not been the poster child for sobriety. I have certainly made things harder on myself than they needed to be these past 5 months and I hope I can help others make their sobriety process just a little bit easier.

Regardless of your choices in life I hope you all seek to embrace change and work to view change as an opportunity not a burden.

For the first time in maybe my entire life I am happy to say I have goals that I feel are truly attainable for myself. I am moving essentially cross-country from Boston, MA to Austin, TX. I do not know anyone in Austin, I visited once in 2019 and had one of my worst drinking weekends I can remember. I basically just drank and slept and didn’t get a chance to embrace the city all that much so you could say I am going in completely blind. This is definitely outside of my comfort zone. I would consider myself introverted. I relied on alcohol to socialize and make friends the majority of my adult life. So to throw myself in a new city far away from home without knowing anyone is going to challenge me. I will essentially be forced to socialize and put myself out there because the alternative is basically loneliness. My goal and intent for this move is to meet new people, get out of my comfort zone, find out more about myself, grow as a person and discover what interests me. I grew up in Massachusetts my entire life, went to college in Virginia, and moved back to MA after graduating. I met most of my friends in college through my fraternity and if you do not know already fraternities main bond is around drinking (at least the one I joined was). I truly made some life-long friends in college but I also picked up or increased some of my bad habits. When I moved back home I already had hometown friends and we continued to bond/socialize over drinking. Granted, I can spend time with my friends (both from school and home) sober now and enjoy myself it just isn’t the top option and I understand that. Sober socialization for a majority of 24 year olds is probably not the top option. I totally get it, if you asked me what I wanted to do next weekend just one year ago I would have said watch the game at the bar or get shit-faced and go to a party. That still is the case for most of my peers and that is not something I can or ever will be able to control. This is a valuable lesson I have learned or just became more aware of during my sobriety journey, you can only control you. So what I am working to control now is myself and my environment. Sure, I know Austin is probably viewed as a party/drinking city but so is Boston and maybe every city if thats your perception. But I don’t drink anymore so I cant really perceive a city or place that way. End of the day its a totally new environment and I am willing to be open-minded to it. I also will work to be open-minded in exploring sober communities. This is a goal of mine as well. I want to explore sober events and groups in hopes of finding sober friends. Just about everyone that I listen to or hear from that is sober recommends having a support group on the same or similar mission. The fact of the matter is my interests right now are much different than my interests a year ago. Because my interests changed I was missing out on the common bond that brought my old group of friends together and that was drinking. I still appreciate most of my friends that I have made throughout my life and will likely still be friends with them. It is just a fact however, that I am on a sober journey and those old friends are not. They still enjoy drinking and bars and I do not hold that against them. I deemed it’s time for me to pack up and experience these life changes in an entirely new city. I don’t like the idea of “fresh start” or “clean slate” because I feel like that insinuates you are ashamed of your past which I am not. I am committing to my gut feelings and trying something new. So long story short, I am pushing myself this coming year and working to experience growth in a new city. If I don’t do it now then when will I? No better time than now to pack up and see what else may be out there for me. I am excited, uneasy, nervous and happy about this change. I trust that regardless of what happens this coming year I will be better off because of it. I trust that I will soon have a better idea of who I am and what I want to accomplish. I trust that continuing to work towards a sober life is the best thing for me.

I hope to continue to blog next year and share my journey with whoever chooses to read. I hope I can help one person who is struggling with alcohol or just having a hard time in general. Nothing worth doing is easy.

Officially 4 months of no alcohol and here is what I have come to realize.

• I do not miss being hungover.
  • My Sundays are not filled with scaries and I am happy because of that.
• It really does get easier
  • It’s not easy but it gets easier. Like all changes, this has taken time to get comfortable with.
• I don’t even miss drinking (that much)
  • Very very rarely have I though to myself “I want a buzz” or “I could use a beer”. I more so have thoughts about drinking to prevent boredom.
• Money is far less of a stressor
  • No more big bar tabs makes for an easier time coughing up rent.
• It feels good to feel good
  • Generally, I wake up not feeling like a sack of shit and I appreciate that.
• I am not that different than a lot of people out there.
  • There are people who don’t drink, don’t enjoy drinking all that much, and dislike parties/events centered around drinking.
• Making decisions for myself is way easier.
  • By making a conscious decision to stop drinking it makes other life decisions easier.
• No one cares that you don’t drink
  • You don’t need to have a story lined up for when people may ask or bug you. Odds are they wont notice or care. Those who truly care about you will be happy and proud.
• Being vulnerable leads to growth.
  • I want to write another blog post on this one. In my opinion this is how you grow, learn about yourself and others, become comfortable with who you are, and take control of your life.
• Everyone has problems and I mean everyone.
  • This doesn’t mean that your problems are not any less important than the next persons BUT keep this is mind. You never truly know what other people are going through.
• Mental health is real
  • Until you go through your own mental health issues it can be difficult to understand the seriousness around it. Don’t be naive. Accept that this should be taken serious and know there are things you can do to improve your mental health.
• This is your journey and no one else’s
  • Take everything with a grain of salt, work on making decent decisions for yourself, work on being in a healthy relationship with yourself, don’t be any harder on yourself than you need to be. Go at your own pace.

Happy to be 4 months alcohol free. Looking forward to experience more change in my life. I am more confident I will be able to handle change with out alcohol involved. Do whatever it is you want to do in this life because its short and you only get one go at it. My advice thus far is to seek some level of discomfort and reflect on how you feel about it.

It has gotten easier for me to start thinking about drinking again lately. Just yesterday, I was at the Patriots game and I kept having thoughts about a few beers and how that would make me feel. I probably would have felt a little warmer, been a little more comfortable in the crowd, yelled a little louder, maybe even let out a few dumb dance moves to attempt to get on the big screen. In the moment I just kinda toughed it out and recognized I will not be drinking and truthfully I did not have the greatest time. I definitely felt in the moment that I would have enjoyed myself a little more with a buzz.

But for me just getting a buzz is nearly impossible for me to do. It would likely lead to one too many drinks, making a fool of myself, spending too much money, and possibly forgetting what happened. I read countless stories about people who relapse and how after some time sober they ease back into drinking. These people say that for a while they seem to have control and they can moderate BUT after a few days or weeks they find themselves back into their past ways. The thought of that would suck. If I had just a few beers at the game yesterday, I may have been able to keep it together and I may have even had a better time. But it is almost guaranteed that those few beers would lead to a few more the next weekend and the false confidence that I have now become a “normal” drinker. I am far from a “normal” drinker and it is important to remember that regardless of what stage you may be in sobriety. It may be even more important to remember this the further along you get. I don’t want to trick myself into believing a few months sober has likely done the job to make me more comfortable with drinking again.

So this is why I think it is very important to remember your past. I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and that didn’t disappear. I would commonly drink to the point of blacking out. I would convince myself that waking up after a rough night and pouring myself a drink was normal. I would spend countless days so hungover I would be throwing up late into the afternoon or even into the second day of my hangover. I have gone entire weekends without remembering anything, back to back to back blackouts. I have done countless things I regret that left me anxious and uneasy. I could have seriously harmed myself or other people with the actions I took while drunk. I have driven countless times. I have missed days of work by being too hungover. I have gotten kicked out of countless bars for being too drunk and I don’t even remember it. I have passed out in random places. Gotten arrested. Taken trips to the hospital. Lost weight. Been severely sleep deprived. Lost money. Forgotten trips and experiences that should not have been forgotten. The list goes on.

The long story short thing here is… Yes, I probably could have had a few drinks at the game yesterday and I probably could’ve worked to moderate for that game. But, drinking at that one game would likely lead to drinking the next weekend and so on until I started finding myself back into my old ways. Not to mention, I probably would have woken up hungover this morning.

I am finding it important to find and do things that make you happy and make you feel like a decent human being. Take things one day at a time. Think about your actions and how they could impact you. Make decent choices. I am happy I made the choice not to drink yesterday.

One Day At A Time. This is probably the most common piece of advice/encouragement when it comes to sobriety. You do not need to work on being sober forever you just need to work on being sober today… right now. I am starting to learn the importance of being present in all aspects of my life. I am thankful that my sobriety journey is teaching me this. I am thankful that I am teaching myself this.

I haven’t been the best at journaling lately, I haven’t been the best with my diet and nutrition lately, my workouts aren’t the best, my mental isn’t the best. That’s ok. If you feel like some aspects of your life are out of balance right now, that’s ok. Good on you for being able to recognize this too. Here is why being present is so important. All you need to do is get up at this very moment and make an attempt to journal, or eat something healthy, or take a walk, or go to the gym. Not for the next few months, not for a week straight, not for the entire day. Just right now.

So many times in my past I would get agitated, angry, and upset at myself. I would tell myself I fell off and it’s a longgg road ahead to get back on track. If I bailed on the gym for a week or so, I would find it so incredibly difficult to get myself to go back. I thought I lost the progress I had made, that I was going to have to work for months to get that back. AND if I did get myself to get up and go to the gym after a few weeks off I would carry that same mentality into my workout. Like damn, “Im so weak” “I cant lift what I used to” “My mile time is so slow”. I would think in just one workout or run I would need to make back all that lost progress. That is absolutely not the case and in all honesty a very unhealthy way of thinking. This doesn’t need to be in relation to exercise or working out. Whatever it is you want to work toward… reflect on how you think about your progress. Try your best to keep your thoughts present.

Bringing the future into your thinking (which will always remain unknown) is not necessary. Work on the present. Recognize when you are beginning to get overwhelmed and try your hardest to remember all you have is right now, this moment.

Dealing with all the emotions that have hit me thus far in my sobriety journey has been probably one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life. I would only be making it harder on myself by not being present and living in the moment. If I stressed an event in a month or a week that would be centered around drinking, I would be adding to the pressure.

The truth is some days suck, some days are ok, some days are great. You cant predict or pick and choose what days you want to be good. All you got is today. Do as you please with it. If that means cancelling plans to just lay in bed, do that. If that means dragging your ass to the gym, do that. If that means sitting down on a Saturday afternoon to write this blog, do that. And for tomorrow… who knows?

One thing I am sure everyone can relate to not just people working on sobriety is that Sunday night productivity gameplan that you probably run through your head. “This week I am going to wake up early and go to the gym every day” “This week I am going to cook all my meals” “This week I am going to take a walk before work”. Thennn the alarm goes off Monday morning… you hit snooze 8 times, roll out of bed, and get to work. You probably sit at your desk and think “damn… i’m a lazy POS” “Tomorrow I will get up and do that”. You berate yourself with negative thoughts for no real reason. You thought about your immediate future without factoring in the unpredictability of it.

At this point in my sobriety, I cant gameplan a full week… I cant even gameplan the next hour of my day. Who the hell knows how I will feel or what may happen. So be present, if you wake up one morning and feel great… embrace it, don’t take it for granted and dont distract yourself with different thoughts. If you wake up one morning and feel like shit…. embrace it, ask yourself what can I do right now to impact my thoughts and feelings in a positive way.

You will start to appreciate things that you overlooked before. You will start to learn what makes you feel good and why. You will start to learn what makes you feel bad and why. You will be in more control of your life through being present.

I recently passed three months of sobriety (92 days). I figured I would just share my feelings and thoughts that have come into my brain as I reflect on this journey. I dont really have a general topic here so bear with me.

Getting sober has not been a magic pill for my problems. At first it was easy to kind of trick myself into thinking it would be. You may trick yourself as well. “Man… once I get sober I am going to have a perfect body, everyone will respect me, my issues will just disappear.” Not in the slightest. Although this is pretty straight forward thinking now… you may relate to this way of thinking in the first month or so of sobriety.

Life in general has got me down lately. I do however have some good days/moments. Like right now for example, I took work off today for a mental refresh, went for a walk, took a workout class, will go get a haircut, and possibly clean my room. I am treating myself today. If you are anything like me you had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol for a reason or many reasons for that matter. While you are drinking it is nearly impossible to figure out the underlying problems that get you to drink and drink heavily. Sure, I figured I was anxious because every-time I walked into a crowded bar I would likely drink to a point of blacking out. When I was going to a party or event I would likely pregame too aggressively to ease my nerves. I felt like I couldn’t ease my stress at social places or events without a heavy buzz or drunk. So yeah I guess I could piece it together but my drinking brain didnt want to dig deeper into that issue.

My sober brain has no choice but to face that issue and make an attempt to get to the bottom of it. So yeah, I was hit with a lot of anxiety and even some depression after getting sober. These issues were almost definitely present while drinking I just used booze to blind myself from them. If you think you have a problem with alcohol and dont really know why…. I want to tell you it is going to be damn near impossible to determine why if you dont make an attempt at removing it from your life. It doesnt need to be forever! That’s important to remember. Dont stress out over the fact that you could never drink again. It is a day to day battle and you should never stress the future.

I have been anxious and at times depressed the past few months. The good news here is I have good days and I respect myself a whole lot more than I ever have. I respect the fact that I actively chose to remove something from my life that caused me mental and physical pain. I respect the fact that I am in more control of my actions and do more of what I truly want to do when I want to do it. I dont feel guilty for taking care of myself… self-care is not selfish!!

I have been to a handful of events with drinking involved and just very recently I noticed I am getting more comfortable with it. I dont drink and no one gives a shit and if they do give a shit screw them… they likely are projecting their own issues towards you. I went to a bar last Friday night and ordered a red bull, I went to a football game after the bar and got a Hot Chocolate and a water. Trust me no one gives a shit… I thought they would and earlier on when I went up to the bar to order a club soda and lime I would fold into myself. I felt my skin get flush and hoped no one would hear my order… I prayed that the bartender wouldn’t ask any follow up questions like “just a club soda??” or “no vodka?” guess what they haven’t yet and if they do I am confident I can respond in an appropriate way.

I have found it is easier to be more outspoken about it to strangers and friends. Just saying “I am sober” or “I am taking a break from drinking” can 1. get people to stop talking about it to you and 2. make it way easier on yourself. If you simply deny a drink or order a water and say “not tonight” or “I have a big morning tomorrow” you will likely get push back from those around you drinking. So, when you get to a level of comfortability with yourself be assertive and confident. Let people know you dont drink and dont be afraid to express the seriousness around it.

Anyways thats my three month check in. It has not been easy but it has gotten easier. I am feeling myself get more confident and I am starting to understand what can work for me in this life. If you are on a sober journey like me, just know no two journeys will be the same. Take everything you see, read, hear with a grain of salt. At the end of the day it is your life and I hope you choose to do what makes you happy. If you find yourself unhappy and life gets overwhelming you are not alone, help is out there. I am happy to talk as well. lastdropblog@gmail.com drop me an email and I will look to respond!

I considered drinking. For the first time in a while I truly considered it. Just starting out with a few drinks… The boredom kinda got to me… this is probably my 6th straight weekend with basically no plans, it is Halloween weekend, I wanted to go somewhere and be social. The thought of showing up to a party or a bar sober was too much. I sat on the idea for a while and ultimately here I am writing this blog so I chose not to drink.

Why did I choose not to drink? I truly didn’t have many plans to begin with. Since I stopped drinking I realized one of the main things I had in common with my social circle was drinking. We would go to bars, parties, or drink for a game on TV every week. Taking a weekend off was super rare for me. I could always reach out to someone and convince them to drink and I would somewhat consistently get hit up to drink as well. So you could say removing drinking from my routine has somewhat separated me from my old friends. This is fine and a common aspect of making a life change. I just have different interests at this point in my life and I am working to discover what I enjoy while sober. So long story short, if I chose to drink I would have needed to go out of my way to reach out to these old friends to drink and that step alone kinda made me think. Sure, I could’ve just went to my fridge and grabbed a beer and started to drink but at the end of the day that wasn’t what I was missing. It was socializing. So here is the realization… I need to meet more people with similar interests. I don’t drink anymore… so would hanging out with people who drink all weekend make sense? No. It is really as simple as that. At times I just wish my old friends would all just stop drinking as well and join me on this journey but that is completely illogical and would never happen. You can’t try and force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do in this world. There is truly no point in trying. Everyone gets one life and it is on them to make decisions for themselves and on you to respect that. So when I see my old friends out at about on the weekends are here them share stories do I get a little mad? Yes. BUT do I wish I was there with them and drinking? No. I don’t miss drinking, I don’t miss hangovers, I don’t miss spending money at bars, I don’t miss embarrassing texts/photos/videos, I don’t miss blackouts, I don’t miss throwing up, I don’t miss getting irrationally angry at anything and anyone, I don’t miss ruining clothes, I don’t miss hangxiety, you get the idea.

So today I am thankful that I chose not to drink. I am thankful that I went to the gym and had a good workout. I am thankful that I will wake up tomorrow and not be hungover.

Will I have another day where I want to drink again? Highly likely. But I will think back to the day like today and think it through.

Getting sober has truly led to a lot of introspection. Asking myself A LOT of questions. why I feel the way I do? Why I did the things I did? Who do I want to become? What will I do today? Why should I do this?

If I wasn’t sober I would never be able to face these questions with a clear mind and make a decision I can be happy with.

As always, be kind to yourself. Life only happens one day at a time so no need to stress tomorrow while still battling today. Embrace the good days and recognize the bad ones. No matter where you may be at this stage in your life think about how far you’ve come. You have endured a lot and do not deserve to treat yourself poorly. Mistakes happen, life happens, change happens.

Figured it would be good for me and anyone out there to list out some things that have helped me on this sober journey.

• Walking: so simple yet so effective. Take a walk, it’s one of the best things you can do. Try to do this daily.
• Talking: Go to your family, close friends, support groups, doctors/therapists. Talk it out. You do not need to expect any results or magic answers in return. It is just essential to get things off your chest.
• Journaling: I journal almost every day. Next to walking it is my most consistent positive habit. Just write out anything and everything. I simply jot down the date and begin putting down bullet points. How I am feeling, what I did that day, what I ate, where I went, what happened at work, you name it. Don’t be afraid to go back through your journal entries… it shows progress and provides valuable insight. You begin to teach yourself.
• Social Media: this goes two ways. First, delete or block things that you know will negatively impact your mental health. You know what they are. Block that Ex, those drinking pages, avoid snapchat stories on weekends early on. Second, find positive sober social media pages. I searched “young and sober” on youtube, twitter, reddit. Search what you please and soak in what you can. Realize that you are not the only one going through a sober journey or a massive life change.
• Exercise: Sure walking is exercise but for me it is not enough. I need to workout consistently. For me I do HIIT training or just weight lift at my local gym. I attempt to run at least once a week as well. Break a good solid sweat and work towards a physical health goal. (get a nice physique, run a 5k, take a workout class, get 10,000 steps a day) Find what you like and work towards it.
• Hydrate: If you drank like me your hangovers were beyond brutal. It was so obvious that I was dangerously dehydrated. My pee would be like orange, my skin would be blotchy and dry, my throat would be dry as hell. I would look and feel like death. I needed to hydrate or I would risk serious health concerns. I now am huge about hydration. I feel the need to replenish my body. May sound weird but I judge my hydrated state of the color of my pee. I shoot for pretty transparent/clear. I enjoy coconut water as an alternative when water gets boring.
• Probiotic: I take a daily probiotic every morning to assist with digestion. I had awful GERD from my drinking days so a probiotic works to heal my gut.
• Music: Make a good mood playlist. Something you can turn to when things seem to go to shit and you want to pop headphones in and space out for a bit. I like Mac Miller, Rufus De Sol, and random upbeat House music.
• Clean up: Work to keep your living/working area tidy. Do laundry, wash your sheets, wipe down your desk, put your clothes in the hamper. Damn what a mess I was when I was in my heavy drinking state. I would be so hungover or out of it some days I would wake up with stale fast food by my bed, open white claws and beers, clothes scattered, I was living like a bum. For me getting sober has made keeping clean much easier. Granted I wouldn’t want a photo of my bedroom/working space on the cover of a magazine. Oh clean yourself too, wash your face, brush your teeth, shower daily. You know the simple things that make you feel human.

I could probably build out a much larger list here but this is a good start. Be kind to yourself. Reflect constantly on where you are and where you came from. Be proud of yourself. Progress is progress no matter how big or small. Find out what helps you and write it down or just keep doing it.